Geoffrey Line

In 500 feet, sing “If You’re Happy and You Know It” over your child’s piercing cries. In 2 miles, realize you were too tired to notice the irony of your song choice over your child’s piercing cries.

"We are grateful, Gandalf, for all that you have done for Middle-earth over the ages... We simply must find a younger savior if we are to keep Sauron at bay."

If you’re wondering, in the moment you wait for me to land in Street View, I howl through the mesosphere, engulfed in flame.

I am coming to your city to save you, said the handsome man on the TV. He wagged his finger at the camera, at Gabriel and his corpulent mother fused to the pleather couch, and he said to them that he was coming to their city to save their souls. Mark the date!

The Malahat Review, established in 1967, is among Canada's leading literary journals. Published quarterly, it features contemporary Canadian and international works of poetry, fiction, and creative nonfiction as well as reviews of recently published Canadian poetry, fiction, and literary nonfiction.

After eighty-nine years, five kids, two C-sections, one kidney transplant, nine grandchildren, three great-granddaughters, and two titanium hips, Queen G has graced us with her boldest creation yet—just when the internet wasn’t looking.

A satire and tribute to DFW, on one of the web's first literary magazines, where he and Saunders, Bolano, Ben Marcus, Simon Rich and others published their fiction.